These howlers are real students' mistaken answers to Biology questions and explanations of Biological phenomena.
Some show problems with spelling, expressing themselves clearly, comprehension or recall of scientific concepts.
In other words do not take these seriously - they are all wrong in some way.
It is my hope that they first make readers laugh, and then make them think.
Other sections of the BioTopics website are more educational and informative but not so entertaining
- lofty ideals shared with the Ig Nobel prizes and the BBC mission statement.
Animals with backbones are spiney
Amphibia have limbs which are handy for swimming
Amphibia outnumber the human population because when they mate thousands of sex cells are made
Animals like humans only have hair in certain places
Bone in the arm: the humus - the humour
Found in joints: synoptic fluid
Nerve impulses pass along - the spiral cord - spinal colon
Parts of the brain: mudulla - cerebum
Mammals are covered with fir
Functions of a root hair cell:
- shows what direction for the plant to travel downwards
- moves and changes shape
- lets in light
- pokes plant so it grows downwards
Cellulose gives plants their green colour
Chloroplasts provide food for photosynthesis
When the temperature falls, the sweat glands produce sweat which warms up the body
Animals that eat grass only have one set of incisors at the bottom
Humans need 2 sets of teeth because they are small and have short roots
Sugar can cause fillings
Fibre - keeps the bowls healthy - cleans out the bolles
Q If food additives like salt and sugar are removed from food, what must consumers do?
A Keep the salt and sugar level
If the chiffchaffs in the food chain died, the number of bluetits would increase because of the deceased competition for food
The bacterium Escherichia coil
Acid rain corrodes metal and the ozone layer
Benedict's test ... for producing sugar
Birth pains !
The birth of a baby begins at intercourse
After the first signs of pregnancy, she will now feel it necessary to go to the doctor and if positive then the 9 months have started
During the birth of a baby, first of all the mother becomes pregnant... later her hips will dislocate
The baby turns round in the womb so that the heat comes out of the vagina
When the woman goes into labour, a housewife helps
Contractions develop which are greater than the uterus
Birth is in 2 parts: firstly the delivery of the head, then the body
After 9 months the baby is born, exciting the mothers body
The mother experiences labour pains because the baby is turning itself round and getting in position for its head first exit
After the baby is born - the Fallopian tube is cut
- the uterus is expelled
Q Why does a woman who is breast-feeding need calcium?
A To build up her breasts
Function of the ovaries - to keep the woman aware of her body
- to release eggs ever so often
The testes is (sic) the only place where the body temperature is hot and the testes are cooler than the rest of the body
In puberty, hair develops
- round the gentile area
- on the legs, and in females they usually save it off
- between nose and mouth
Defects of vision
Light is reflected
- off the cornea - off the lens - off the retina - to the brain
The object is seen through the retina
The white spot has no vision, as there are no rods or cones
The retina picks up the object
The lens and cornea bend the view, and the retina helps sort out the muddle
The cornea reverses the object and sends it to the brain
It lets light in through the pupil that goes through the lens to the retina
The object is passed through and on to the cornea which inverses the object and sends it to the brain
In the light our eyes can be smaller
In dark light the lens contracts, and the pupils swell up
In low light, the iris moves outwards
The light passes through the ciliary muscles which make the major deflection of the light to the retina, then the lens makes a small adjustment so that it is perfectly in line
The first thing is that the vision passes through the pupil, the message is reversed and sent to the sides of the eye
The eye contains liquids which keep it moist
(Attached to each hair) a rector muscle
... this allows blood to be radiated out of the face ....
when sweating ....sweat evaporates and releases heat in your face ...
Q Why is it better to manage some wilderness areas for colonisation by wild animals, rather than domesticated animals?
A(1) They will be more relaxed and so their meat will be better.
A(2) This will result in a stable source of food.
Elodea - an aqueous plant
When weed looked at the seeds ......
A mung bean is a small green seed the size of a pea only smaller.
My conclusion : seeds defiantly (definitely) need water
A seed may lose the power to grow and so become non variable (non viable)
In this experiment we had to study the germination of Petri dishes.
I took a straw and blue into the green liquid till it changed colour
There is less air in hilly and monotonous regions
In a cross breeding experiment: first you take a flower with a strong cent
Bees do not have coloured eyesight
Seeds grow towards the light
If fewer seeds had been planted they would have had more space and temperature
Ring shaped sphinx muscle
Herbivores eat botanic meats
We started at the top of the hill and transgressed into the boggy area
Cercariae emerge from the birth pope
Flowers at the back of the border can grow a few feet
Due to its high boiling point, water exists as a liquid on this plant, so it is not lost into space
Water provides a habit for aquatic organisms
Newts have longer tales than frogs
The dog rose has spiky steams
Mammals' ears have eternal flaps
Bees help flowers to grow which make oxygen so they help us breathe in the end
Disease caused by a fungus: athlete's food
Flies are mad sterile by irradiation
Mutant flies can mate happily with the wild flies, preventing the offspring living